An Acting Life

Posts Tagged ‘Performing Arts’

Shooting The Trailer: Day 9 (I Am An Ass)

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

Not a good performance by me today. Couldn't, couldn't, couldn't do it. I hate that.

Shooting The Trailer: Day 8

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

Thursday I called the set designer for 9:30 AM so she could put up all the leaves, branches, twigs, rocks, pelts and bones before the camera department arrived.  Of course, once she spent 90 minutes putting up the set, our director arrived and changed everything.  Okay, that's 3 hours extra space rental fee at the theatre lab because we stayed longer. Should have gotten that slimy motel room, after all--they charge by the day and we would have been better off financially. Of course, in the room at the theater lab, I see a mattress upon which I’ve played many a scene in class; a portable door behind which I’ve sat crying, a table at which I sat to be put to death by lethal injection; thus, many warm feelings of good rehearsals. PLUS, they actually loan us their business phone from the office when we need a set piece. So, it was a better choice for location after all.

Shooting The Trailer: Day 5

Monday, March 12th, 2012

Wednesday was my day to be an actor. My writing partner played producer and PA today.


Michelle Actor speaking: I gave three transcendent performances in two separate scenes.

 

Michelle Producer speaking: Good, all you need is one good take of each scene.


I attribute my ability to give great performances partially to relinquishing producer worries for a few hours.

Shooting The Trailer: Day 4 morning

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

1:00 AM.  Makeup emails me.  She has a paid gig tomorrow to do a voice-over.  Not makeup for a voice-over, ha, ha: she’s also a voice actor.  Everyone on this film is a triple hyphenate.  It was a last minute call for her.  She won’t be on set tomorrow at 8:00 AM.

8:00 AM.  Call time for crew.

8:15 AM.  DP calls me on my cell.  His camera is locked in Dave’s apartment and Dave is not answering the bell.

8:45 AM.  DP calls.  Can I please get a #73 Partytime Violet gel for him at Marty’s (specifically not at the other camera place) for tomorrow’s shoot?

9:00 A.M. 25 Extras arrive.  They are to run down an alley and scream while chasing a wolf.  This scene is scheduled to shoot at 9:30 and wrap at 11:30.

9:15 AM.  The AD and the Director are watching porn on a portable DVD player in the AD’s car.  I ask the AD to call the DP.

9:18 AM.  The DP is now trying to climb in the window of Dave’s apartment.

10:00 AM.  DP is borrowing a camera from Chris.  He will be here as soon as he can.

10:30 AM.  We are shooting this scene in an alley.  There are no bathrooms; we figured people could hold it for two hours; then we could release the extras while the principal cast & the crew could go to the next location and use the bathrooms there.  However, the extras have been drinking Crafty’s coffee for an hour and now they have to pee.  I buy a not-in-the-budget $100 Tully’s Coffee card and send everyone over there to drink lattes and use their bathroom.

10:45 AM.  Skadi, the dog who is playing the Wolf, wants Tully’s, too.  Not coffee; just croissants.  She licks my face.

11:00 AM.  The DP will be here at noon with a borrowed camera.  We are now three hours off schedule.

11:15 AM.  I drive to Marty’s for the gel.  They do not have Partytime Violet; they do not have #73.  I call the Gaffer; his cell phone rings and rings.  I call the DP; his cell phone goes straight to voicemail.  So, I buy 10 different gels in the violet range.  Also unbudgeted.

12:05 PM.  Since we’re in an alley, we’re stealing electricity from an outside outlet belonging to who-knows-whom.  The team plugs in the lights, camera, audio gear and monitor.  The lights blow.

12:45 PM.  Camera gang sets up the shots without lights.

12: 50 PM.  Monitor won’t power up.

12: 54 PM.  The Director can use the on-board monitor.

12:55 PM.  The outlet where we have the audio deck plugged in begins to sizzle.

12:58 PM.  Sound Recordist will run on batteries.

1:20 PM.  Roll tape.  Roll sound.  Action.

1:21 PM.  Batteries on the audio deck are out.

1:22 PM.  Okay, the scene has no dialog; just screaming and barking.  We can ADR all that.  Or whatever.

1:26 PM.  Roll tape.  Action.

1:28 PM.  It turns out Skadi the Dog LOVES this scene.  “Chase me, chase me!”  She turns around and jumps on me and knocks me down to top off the game of chase with a little mud wrestling.  Did I mention she weighs 130 pounds?  She slurps my face.  “Bark, bark, bark.”

1:30 PM.  A little frizzy dog inside one of the buildings is looking out the window longingly, scratching the window, “Let me out, I wanna be chased, too.  I wanna knock people down, too.”

1:36 PM.  Roll tape.  Action.

1:40 PM.  Re-set camera.

1:58 PM.  Roll tape.  Action.

2:03 PM.  Another $100 coffee card and more peeing.

3:30 PM.  Wrap this location.  Four hours late.

 

Sad = Comedy

Friday, November 11th, 2011

 

People ask, “You are so funny, Michelle.  Where on earth do you get your ideas?”


How real life informs my comedy act.

 

Doesn’t Quite Get It

Walking with their dog, a young couple.


The dog, a terrier, is off leash.  Terriers were originally bred to hunt rats.


The dog leaps on a ground squirrel, breaks its neck and chomps it down.  Licks her lips.


The young man yells, “Bad dog.”


I stop jogging and yell at the young man.  “No, YOU are a bad human.”

 

Breaking the Rules

At an audition for “Noises Off,” a hysterical modern comedy about a community theater putting on a play and everyone sleeping with everyone else’s spouses backstage.


An actress shows up for audition and gives as her monolog a piece from Medea, an older-than-classical tragedy about a woman who murders her own children.  For god’s sake.  What kind of business sense is that?


Yet…she was so REAL; she blew everyone away and they cast her.


And not me.

 

Can You Die of Irony?

A traffic school for punishing OOPS I mean for “retraining” drivers who have gotten too many tickets.


They hire comics to teach the traffic school because they think they can lure more students if they promise entertainment instead of boring statistics or gory movies OOPS I meant they hire comics “because they think the lessons will sink in better with a lighthearted approach.”


Between the time I got hired and the day I taught my first class, I got three tickets and had to go to traffic school myself.  So egregious were my tickets that I had to go to one of the really bad classes in which all the students  were alcoholic drunks, mostly of the hit and run variety.  But the school did not consider my conviction as a bad driver to be an impediment to my teaching other, lesser, bad drivers; and I had a long, successful OOPS I mean “short and horrid” career.

 

Pervs

An indie short.  The director’s dad was producing.


We were put up on location in a motel, two to a room.  Somehow I got stuck with the director’s dad, Perv-o-matic Man.  While I was on the phone with the FX guy, Dad was walking around the motel room with nothing on, wagging his dick.  Willy.  Johnson.  Rod.  Wang.  Woody.


I packed my suitcase and moved next door with the stoners (DP and Video Village.)  There was no beer allowed on location, so the stoners were toking up.  Seven of us spent the night in the stoner room (DP, Video Village, Mixer, Gaffer, PA, UPM, AC) and no one walked around wagging his tool.

 

Technology

After I typed this commentary, I spell-checked it.  Microsoft Word did not recognize the word “toking.”

Occupy History, Occupy Consciousness

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

In the midst of all this revolt and dissatisfaction, sometimes, still, when I raise a discussion with performing artists about  how artists can become more relevant to modern times; how we can expand our role, how we can address larger issues, that all the responses are along the lines of (gross exaggerating follows here), “But someone tried it once and it was boring / didactic / amateur / heavy-handed.”


That all may be true.


But, does anyone want to discuss specifics about how we CAN do a better job of keeping people engaged while saying new things in a new way?


If the true place of the clown is in the midst of the terror, well, then, how can we be that clown?



Bueller?



Okay, I will discuss it.  Artists need to find better ways to help people process the issues, the social questions, the struggles of humanity in our era. We can’t just give up and address the easier-to-process issues, like dating, sex, love. We need to always be asking ourselves, “How can i expand the boundaries of human consciousness?”


I agree with that the delivery is important. If it’s boring, childish or amateur, no one pays attention.  That’s the last thing we performing artists want–the audience to tune out.  The childish, hitting-you-over-the-head stuff like the San Francisco Mime Troupe does is just so boring and insulting, and you have to already be a hard core devotee to sit through one of their shows.


It’s important to keep searching for new ways to present new ideas.  If if we artists don’t find a better way to speak to larger issues, we risk becoming irrelevant.  We’ll be left behind as our milieu, our society to whom we are supposed to speak, to whom we channel the Muse and the Great Questions, surges ahead without us.

Fool for Love

Monday, September 12th, 2011

My friend Anne once gave a performance of “Fool for Love” for an audience of two.

This news had me freaking out that my upcoming run might be undersold. So, here’s the message I sent to my mailing list:

“Come see me in Taming of the Shrew at the {theater.} You know me, the sarcastic bitch–well, I’m playing a woman who decides to be submissive to her husband.   Seems like a bad casting decision, no?  However, don’t let that keep you away.  We need to pay the rent on the venue.  I’m wearing a low-cut-in-the-bosom dress, so you can at least get SOMEthing out of it.

“Oh, by the way, this is a dumb play by an old dead white man and I don’t really like the play. If there were anything else I could have been cast in this summer, I wouldn’t have taken the role.  But, hell, it’s Waiver; so, I took it.  And good thing, too, because Sammy eats the expensive kind of cat food.

“Dear family, friends, colleagues, If I weren’t in this lousy dreck, I’d never ask you to see it…but we need the butts-in-seats, so please show up.

“By the way, Scarlett Johansson plays my sister and she is totally not up to the role.

“Sincerely,
“Michelle”

Anne, take note.

One Woman Performance Art

Thursday, August 25th, 2011


Anything with Barbies ™ is High Art.  These dolls are so iconic.

Humans are highly overrated as story-telling mediums.

I want to use Barbies in a stage piece I’m writing called “Julie Lewis in the Circle”.

I meant, “I want to abuse Barbies in the stage piece I’m writing.” Ruin them. Utterly.  The things one can do with a Barbie that one couldn’t do with a human on stage.  Rip their heads off, beat them with a hammer, rape them with a pencil.  Grind their faces off with a Dremel.  Melt them with an oxy-acetylene torch.

Using Barbies allows me to go way over the top in my story of child abuse and its repercussions into adulthood; and yet allows me to keep the audience in their seats, watching, instead of running out into the lobby to dial 911.

The Self Referential List, Part Six

Friday, May 27th, 2011


Films about dancers

1. Save The Last Dance 2

2. Shall We Dance

3. Step Up

4. Quiz Show

5. The Dancer Upstairs

I Am Creating My Own

Monday, March 28th, 2011

 

In addition to writing my own stuff, part of creating my own is having a discussion with other artists about the role of theater & film artists with regard to social issues.

My frustration is that the level of the discussion has sometimes been limited to off-the-cuff comments such as “political plays can be boring” or “no political rally is as moving as an O’Neill play.”  Yeah, Dario Fo can be dreary.  Yeah, plays about alcoholic families can be intensely moving. Both of these statements are probably true. Both these statements are a valid part of the discussion.

But both these statements are only part of the discussion.  In addition to the above comments, I would like to hear what people think their social role as artists is and how to accomplish that role. I’m trying to solicit some “to-do” or “how can we” in addition to the “here’s why we can’t.”

So, here’s how I can explain myself most succinctly: I believe that all artists take a position, or choose sides, in all their work, consciously or not. They cannot help but choose sides, since art is created to be observed by the audience and therefore imparts a message of some sort to the audience. Artists take into themselves—channel, if you will–the human /societal fears and uncertainties.  Then the artists distill these fears and uncertainties, feeding hopes and dreams back to the audience. However, the message within those hopes and dreams can either be supportive of the status quo, or it can challenge the status quo and project a better future for humanity. The message we give back to our audience, though often made via the individual and the individual’s struggle with life, always has an underlying assumption about society. Our art will take one position or other even if we don’t intend it to do so.

The examples I love to use–the paintings of the of the old Dutch masters—have the underlying societal assumption that life is peaceful and beautiful: that the rich burghers own all this lovely fertile land and they own this lovely ripe young wife and you folks should just enjoy the peaceful beauty of the land and the lovely depiction of the burgher’s wealth, even though you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever having a peaceful, beauty-filled life yourself (you crummy peasants.) You should just appreciate abstract beauty, and, indeed, continue to support–by not questioning–the culture that created this so-called beauty. The painting says that this society is a good society, that it creates beauty and harmony. The paintings say that this society is as god intended it to be and it will be this way forever. “Just accept it; god is good.” Of course, the paintings were lying. Most members of that society toiled miserably and died young. And society ended up not being that way for more than a few hundred years…so the “always was and always will” presumption in those paintings was a lie.

On the other hand, “The Laramie Project” is an example of art that takes the other position. It presents a picture of a human being who has been abandoned and destroyed by society. That piece of work takes the position that our society is not all-good, all beautiful, all harmonious, but, indeed, that significant changes need to be made. That piece of art challenges the status quo and asks the audience to be Dissatisfied with the world in which they live.

“Vagina Monologues” and “Trojan Women” are all good examples. They are all projects where performing artists are engaging themselves in the community in positive, forward-looking ways.  “Syriana” is an example.  “Oceans” (the documentary) is an example.  These are films that ask people to think beyond their current thinking.  Michael Moore’s an example.

These messages are imparted in art works regardless of the quality of the craft, or the artistic excellence of the performance. Those are separate though related issues. Nevertheless, the message is imparted. “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and La Pieta and ”Oklahoma” on one hand and  “We Are The World” and The Vietnam War Memorial and “Rhinoceros” on the other. These works all have artistic excellence in their execution (none of them are the heavy-handed San Francisco boring-ass Mime Troup), but they have distinctly different messages.

So, we all recognize that there exist works of performing arts which challenge the assumption that society will “always be this way.” There are works of performing arts which challenge the notion that “only individuals can change; society never can.” There are works of performing arts that challenge the assumption that this is the “best of all possible worlds.” Some of you, my readers, participate in these works of performing arts because you do want to challenge societal assumptions.

I am asking you guys what you feel your obligation is as performing artists. Do you have an obligation to create new art for the new times we’re in? Do you think that what is happening in the world today is dangerous and could destroy humanity permanently in a way that was not possible before? If you think that, do you think that artists can contribute to preventing that? If you think that artists can play a role, what do you feel is your own role within that? Do you feel that it’s a purely personal choice whether to do a classic play or to do a current work in any particular season? Do you think as an artist, you should choose work to by your own personal preferences or do you think as an artist you have an obligation to choose work that will have an impact? Do you feel artists are simply individuals who decide their own career paths, or are artists answerable to the times, the morays, the societies within which they operate?  Do artists play a social role? If so, do they have certain obligations?

I think it’s a similar question any profession must ask itself. Do doctors play a social role? Or are they just doing it because they love to play with knives?  Must they operate on a patient, even if the patient has no money? Must they perform unnecessary operations just because the patient demands it? Should they perpetuate the notions of female beauty by doing cosmetic surgery? Should they save the life of a terrible dictator? Do computer scientists have a social role? Should they work on software which will conduct secret surveillance on all Arab-American teenagers? Do auto designers have a social role? Should they keep safety innovations out of next year’s model because it would raise the cost? Or should they just design a pretty, artistic car that gives them a hard-on without regard for safety?

 

Michelle is..

an actor, performance artist, screenwriter, indie filmmaker.  Her books are available at right on the front page of Reel Grok.

 

Michelle in profile

SHE wants YOU to cast HER in lead roles where sexy middle-aged women have hot affairs with younger men.


Senryu 38:

Many times I’ve said  //

“I love your work.” I was false //

I loved his body //

 

Michelle can currently be seen performing in … well, is currently writing … a multi-media live / filmed performance with elements of insanity. In my work, my goal is to present fictional narrative entertainment that inspires people to change the world.

 

click to see a list of movies with cats

 

Senryu 92:

I wrote a screenplay//

My brilliant, unique story  //

Tits and car crashes //

 

click to read more about my work