Albert Kent & The Weird Auditions


Tell it.


So, I went to an audition.

Albert Kent is the director.

They call us into from the waiting room into the stage area one by one.

Camera & lights are set up in the stage are.  After I read, they ask me to go back to the waiting room.

In a while, Albert comes out to the waiting area and asks about a dozen of us in the waiting area who have already read to come into the stage area once again,all  together.

“Sit in the first row.”

So we do.

“Raise your hand if you can dance.”

“Raise your hand if you can sing.”

Then Albert whispers to Loonkey, who is running the camera, and they both walk out of the room.

The singers and dancers put their hands down.  Look furtively ashamed.

Ten minutes.

Twenty minutes.

I get up and wander around the building.

A dusty staircase.

I mount the whining steps.

A small room stuffed with costumes at the top.

Albert and Loonkey are drinking orange soda pop and playing darts.  They look at me, shocked.  Loonkey drops his soda all down the front of his pants.

Albert says to me,

“Sorry, we don’t have a role for you.”

No, this was not a dream.  I wish it were.  This is a true story.

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