My Commune Fired Me

Went to a party last week.

A Sweet-Young-Chickie sat next to me and told me that she broke up with her Not-Working-Boyfriend and moved out of her group housing situation.

Not-Working-Boyfriend is still living in the group housing with all the roommates and Sweet-Young-Chickie is still financially supporting him, though they have split up. She’s been supporting him for 8 years.

Not-Working-Boyfriend is “dating” (Sweet-Young-Chickie’s word for “screwing”) Chubby-Masseuse, one of the other roomies.

Chubby-Masseuse lives in the group house with her own boyfriend, Depressed-Go-Master, who synchronously is desperately seeking other women.

Though this commune claims to be all about polyamory, Sweet-Young-Chickie was never supposed to mention within the confines of the group house that her Not-Working-Boyfriend was “dating” Chubby-Masseuse, because (follow me here) the Depressed-Go-Master (group-house-mate and boyfriend of Chubby-Masseuse) would be upset.

Anyway, the polyamory seems to be not amory at all, but strictly polysexuality, because the “love” part stops the minute you break one of the rules. Like, for example, move out.

Sweet-Young-Chickie: “I’m moving out of the commune.”

Depressed-Go-Master: “No, I’m kicking you out. And don’t dare talk to any of us again. You can slip your final rent check under the door.”


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