Change


Change happens slowly.  And then, all of a sudden, it happens fast.


I’ve been on a more-or-less carbo reduction plan and a more-or-less detox diet for 3 years.  All of a sudden-no trigger; out of the blue; finally—yesterday, for the first time in my life, without conscious effort, I stopped eating when there was still food remaining on my plate.


Change comes slowly.  And then, all of a sudden, it comes fast.

 

Been doing yoga every day for 6 months.  All of a sudden this morning I could twist 3 entire more inches.  That’s about 10 degrees.  Not little by little, a millimeter here and there.  But, just one day, 10 more degrees.


Things take a really long time.  They take a while to change and then they change in a great leap.


I was looking at—organizing—playing with–pictures of wolves.

 

Hubby said, “What are you doing? “


I said, “Filling my creative well.”


He said. “Where on earth do you get these crazy notions?”


Things take a really long time.  And then, things spiral fast out of control.


I been spending 10 months staring at mindless video games for 8, 10, 12 hours per day.  Playing video games for months; so intense on blowing up asteroids that I didn’t notice the counter was counting.  One day I noticed there was a counter.  I had blown up 162,000 asteroids.  Never realized that before.


But it wasn’t a video game; it was a meditation that took the form of a video game.


I hadn’t been on stage for 3 years; I hadn’t been in a film for 18 months.  My nightmares were all about people trying to kill me.


Without any additional effort, I made a leap one day.   No apparent trigger, though I’m sure there was one.  Slow to slow to slow to a leap.  Finally—all of a sudden–I had a performance dream.  I couldn’t remember my lines; I couldn’t even remember what scene we were in.  Ah, such a relief to be back to the typical actor’s nightmare!  I felt an unstoppable urge to finish all my 3-D work, finish all my armatures, frame all my work.  Finished a basket piece I hadn’t worked on for years.


Then I stopped.


Then I played video games for a while.


Then I wrote about a hundred poems.


Then I stopped again.


I dunno change takes a while.  Then, when it happens, it bowls you over.

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