Co-Producers of the Indie Persuasion


After the read-through,it’s clear that Act 2 is too long and by Act 3 the protag hasn’t taken enough of a journey.


I try to get my co-writer/co-producer to work on the rewrite.


“When can we rewrite?”


“I’m in Poopoo’s film; I’m in Doodoo’s film; I’m acting in the 24 hour film challenge; I’m trying to get cast in the 48 hour play challenge; I’m auditioning for Coocoo’s film; I’m in a film in (goddam far away) Portland; I’m trying to get cast in the 36 hour film challenge and the 72 hour theater challenge and by the way I’m cast in the Stupid Let’s Make a Home Movie Film Film, Stupid Film and I’m doing three play readings and directing a comedy sketch for Booboo.”


“Okay, how about on a weeknight, then?”


“Oh, I’m writing a short.  Oh, I’m writing another short.  Oh, I’m shooting my short.  Can you (me) be the casting director for my short?”

Me:

“When can we work on Act 2?  I want to finish re-writing this feature so we actually have a shot at distribution. Shorts are a money-suck.”


Co-Producer:

“Oh, by the way, I’m done shooting my short.”

Me:

“When can we rewrite?”

Co:

“Weekends are family time and weeknights I take all sorts of acting classes.  Can you come to my house on a weekday?”

Me:

“No!  I have a fucking day job and did you forget that my car was stolen?”

Co:

“Okay, how about Sunday for an hour?  I really appreciate your patience and you doing all the re-writing while I’m so busy.”


Sunday, i show up, pencil and yellow sticky-notes.


Co-producer says:

“Let’s go to Froufrou’s audition.”

Me:

“No, I’m begging you: let’s rewrite.”

Co:

“I am going to Froufrou’s audition; you can do what you want.”


So, six months later, I demanded either real participation in the rewriting and producing of this film or dropping out therefrom.


Me:

“It’s not fair for me to spend 40-50 hours a week on this film and you spend none and you are supposed to be the co-lazy-writer, co-do-nothing-producer and co-diva-star.”


My Co-Co-Co chose to drop out.  Too much work to do something professionally…like actually FINISH a 120 page screenplay.


You take the short road.


Shorts are easy–you pay for them yourself.  No high standards are required. Shorts get put on a compilation DVD and you tell everyone you got “distribution.”


Features are hard.  They suck duck’s eggs.  They suck billiard balls.  I love feature films and I want to make real films, so I struggle on.


Meanwhile, I get lots of fun bitching about co-producers.

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