The Self Referential List, Part Three

Films about making films

  • A Star is Born. They made this one 3 times already.  It was not very interesting; it’s self-serving; it was predictable and uninspired all 3 times. I hear that they are considering a 4th version.

 

  • Mistress. My database says I saw this, but it was so unmemorable that I had to look it up on IMDB to remember what it was about.

 

  • American Movie.  Arrrgh.  A wretched indie of the sort which some people like to praise for its “unaffectedness.”  To me, this was a boring movie about boring, slacker (and unattractive, to boot) people.  I couldn’t give a hoot about any of the loser characters or their fumbling efforts.  At least TRY harder, geez!  If you have no respect for the hard work and history of filmmaking, then you shouldn’t make an indie film showing your disrespect.  And if you do make it, it shouldn’t get distribution.  If it does happen to get distributed, it should not get any favorable reviews.  But, basically, you losers should go start a bad rock band or something.

 

  • Destiny Has No Favorites.  A semi-funny Peruvian film about a soap opera shoot.  Funny enough for a TV movie, but it was shown on the big.

 

  • I Love Your Work.  You would think with a name like “Shalom Harlow” she would be a knockout.  But she’s ordinary.  Eh?  What’s that, you say? The movie?  Ordinary, too.

 

  • Naked Movie.  Boring, boring, amateurish.  They tried to make a movie out of a bunch of movie stars with no plot and no dialog.  It didn’t work.  I couldn’t even finish watching this thing.

 

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