Why I Am a Screenwriter, Part 4


Laura K writes a periodic blog about her insane twenty-something life.  She writes “Last night Eric got blitzed and puked all over the brand-new living room couch.  I got blitzed and fell and broke my arm.”


I commented on Laura’s blog, “The sex with Eric must be great because the Saturday nights sound wretched, although it does provide good material for your writing, and hey that is what it’s all about: material, n’est-ce pas?”


It does provide material in a miserable, bleak sort of “Days of Wine and Roses” way.  Of course, Laura has nowhere near the skill to write a movie of the quality of “Days of Wine and Roses.”  However, she can use her wretched, stinking life to write a blog.  A sometimes very funny blog.  A blog with the boring boring boring boring boring boring, inane, stupid, meaningless, boring, not interesting quality of the stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid television show “Girls.”


I, on the other hand, a multi – talented screenwriter with flying fingers, can, indeed, use my real life to create meaningful, compelling and lucrative screenplays and films.  I, on the other hand, have a crazy family that is actually interesting.


A sister who never returns my emails; but calls me on the phone merely to vent about a mother who is locked in a nut hospital.  A mother who calls me on the phone and monologues for two and three hours, complaining about all her aches and pains and bragging about how beautiful she once was, without letting me get single word in edgewise except a random “aha.”  A niece who is now in rehab because she ran away at age 10 to be a New York hooker in order to “get rich and live in California.” 


So, why the hell can’t I get a screenplay about them finished?

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One Response to Why I Am a Screenwriter, Part 4

  1. Old friend February 27, 2013 at 10:13 pm #

    Girls, yes a wretched little show. I am so glad all the young women in the world are not like these little sexually perverted freaks. Please Lena/Hannah, keep your clothes on!!!!! Your tattoo is so attractive. Not!! Were you in the Navy?

    Speaking of families. Mine is so other worldly. All of my siblings come from different fathers of different ethnic backgrounds. This was not a problem growing up except a fight about what we were going to have for dinner. Steak and potato, stir fry veggies,or pork jowls with greens and peach cobbler. My brother, after getting out of prison and finding “The Lord” has become a very successful preacher. My sister could not decide if she wanted to be a rodeo clown or a Geisha. She settled on the clown but now has a problem with gender identification. Oh yes, my mother ran away with yet another man and is rumored to be in Tibet. I wanted to run away with a band of Gypsies that came through my home town years ago but I could not sing or dance. I settled on being a chef and have worked my way up to the head chef at the local Veterans hospital. We do still all get together for Yon Kippar or how ever you spell it.

    Always enjoy your blog as it gets me to thinking. .

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