Laura K writes a periodic blog about her insane twenty-something life. She writes “Last night Eric got blitzed and puked all over the brand-new living room couch. I got blitzed and fell and broke my arm.”
I commented on Laura’s blog, “The sex with Eric must be great because the Saturday nights sound wretched, although it does provide good material for your writing, and hey that is what it’s all about: material, n’est-ce pas?”
It does provide material in a miserable, bleak sort of “Days of Wine and Roses” way. Of course, Laura has nowhere near the skill to write a movie of the quality of “Days of Wine and Roses.” However, she can use her wretched, stinking life to write a blog. A sometimes very funny blog. A blog with the boring boring boring boring boring boring, inane, stupid, meaningless, boring, not interesting quality of the stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid television show “Girls.”
I, on the other hand, a multi – talented screenwriter with flying fingers, can, indeed, use my real life to create meaningful, compelling and lucrative screenplays and films. I, on the other hand, have a crazy family that is actually interesting.
A sister who never returns my emails; but calls me on the phone merely to vent about a mother who is locked in a nut hospital. A mother who calls me on the phone and monologues for two and three hours, complaining about all her aches and pains and bragging about how beautiful she once was, without letting me get single word in edgewise except a random “aha.” A niece who is now in rehab because she ran away at age 10 to be a New York hooker in order to “get rich and live in California.”
So, why the hell can’t I get a screenplay about them finished?