Nutsoid Film Peeps

Today is devoted to generalized griping.

 

  • Kerry the director who, ever since I appeared in his film adaptation of Marigolds, has been emailing me inviting me to purchase legal insurance plans from him or to attend Tupperware parties at his house…endlessly

 

  • June the screenwriter who wanted product placement in my film, albeit UNPAID, for her new line of fashion-forward Mormon underwear

 

  • Sam the actor who has a full-time straight gig writing an entertainment column yet wants her screenwriter friends to contribute content for her column without paying them

 

  • Artie the auteur who called me last week, four years after his film wrapped, to find out if he owes anyone any money

 

  • ShitBird the editor who just didn’t bother to show up on set for a feature-length because it was too far to drive

 

  • Allan the producer who wants to tell me exactly how to write a pitch in order for him to walk it into a network: with no conflict, because there does not need to be pain

 

  • Edith the producer whose vaunted contact at the cable network turns out to be someone who was fired in 1987 and is now working in real estate

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