Set designers #7 and #8
Lastly, divine or satanic intervention or perhaps the universal god of stand-up comedy sends us Chris. Unbelievable how professional he was. Chris shows up at a rehearsal with his assistant Dan. They have printed the script and 3-hole punched it into notebooks. They have brought boxes of swatches of fabric, wallpaper and strange twiggy materials. They both have Polaroids. They have brought large sketches for each scene in color. They have brought a box of crayons. They arrive early, locate the Costume Designer and the Director of Photography and consult on colors.
They cannot locate the Director, of course, because he did not attend any rehearsals, the dick.
Chris and Dan watch the rehearsal, draw like mad…yes, these guys rock!
After the actors & crew leave, Chris and Dan are still scribbling like mad.
Chris says to me, “Buy three dozen beige sheets tonight. Tomorrow I will call you with the rest of the shopping list. You get someone to buy stuff and bring it to our studio. We will be busy working with supplies we already have in the studio. “
My blood pressure drops about 30 points.
At 8:00 in the morning I call Chris. A receptionist answers,
“Who’s calling? Just a minute. Chris can’t come to the phone. Leave a message.”
I call Dan. A muffled voice answers,
“Who’s calling? Just a minute. Dan can’t come to the phone.”
I email Chris. I email Dan.
At 9:00 AM I call Chris. I tell the receptionist I have 2 PAs ready to buy the shopping list…she says,
“Chris is busy and can’t come to the phone. He told me not to take any messages.”
I call Dan.
His answering machine says, “Dan is out of town for two weeks.”
At 9:15 AM I call Chris.
“This number has been disconnected with no forwarding information.”
At 9:16 AM I text Chris.
I text Dan.
My messages bounce.
At 9:20 AM I call email Dan. I get a fast-busy, as if the phone is off the hook.
Now, we have only two days till the shoot. My makeup artist says she will do one of the sets. I will do the others.