Oh, dear. Maybe I should try a different coffee shop for these meetings; change my karma.
4) Jerrie found us on a theater site where we had posted a casting notice. She took the initiative to call me and ask if we needed a Set Designer.
“Oh, yes, do we ever!”
Jerrie had a resume full of theater set design.
“I am finishing a stage play right now. I want to do more film. This 2 minute trailer is perfect because there are so few sets.”
“Oh, by the way, I live in Marin and I can’t drive because I have bad vision.”
(Well, I have some bizarre disease which makes me occasionally stop the car and run to the middle of the freeway, waving my hands and screaming, “Just hit me!”) So, I offer a PA to pick her up, to go shopping with her, to drive her to the set.
“No, says Jerrie, “No problem; I take the bus everywhere; been doing it for years. I’m taking the bus now every night to the theater in the Berkeley.”
(3 buses over 2 bridges)
That evening, waiting for me on the computer is an email from Jerrie. You guessed it.
“Sorry, can’t do it without a car. Too much trouble on the bus. I live in Marin, you know. Very unreasonable.”
(1 bus over 1 bridge)
5) I am now wondering to myself how ANY films get made in this town.
My co-producer calls around for more recommendations. Thus, we are referred to Call Me Minoaka. Long phone conversation with Call Me Minoaka.
“Do you know this is a micro budget film?
“Do you know there are three sets and you only have two weeks to prepare?
“Do you know that your only assistants will be me (the Producer) and Makeup?
“Are you okay with animals on set?
“Do you have time to do this?
“Do you like the script?
“What are your concepts?”
Call Me Minoaka shoots me off sketches for each set. Fast. Good.
Call Me Minoaka sends me a shopping list with a budget attached. Better.
Then Call Me Minoaka starts sending me hundreds of emails forwarded from Craigslist, in response to an ad she placed requesting a set designer for a two minute trailer with an environmental theme.
“Huh? Aren’t you the set designer?”
“I decided to be the coordinator. I will send you candidates.”
Great; not only has she flaked on the job, but additionally she has made 20 times as much work for me, because my work ethic requires me to respond to every single email telling these Craigslist folks that we don’t need them.
6) We are seemingly rescued by Sue, a busy director of industrials. Sue sends me her man Sergei. Sergei is, within the hour, hospitalized with bleeding hemorrhoids. I ought to be, too. It would feel better.