Fool for Love

My friend Anne once gave a performance of “Fool for Love” for an audience of two.

This news had me freaking out that my upcoming run might be undersold. So, here’s the message I sent to my mailing list:

“Come see me in Taming of the Shrew at the {theater.} You know me, the sarcastic bitch–well, I’m playing a woman who decides to be submissive to her husband.   Seems like a bad casting decision, no?  However, don’t let that keep you away.  We need to pay the rent on the venue.  I’m wearing a low-cut-in-the-bosom dress, so you can at least get SOMEthing out of it.

“Oh, by the way, this is a dumb play by an old dead white man and I don’t really like the play. If there were anything else I could have been cast in this summer, I wouldn’t have taken the role.  But, hell, it’s Waiver; so, I took it.  And good thing, too, because Sammy eats the expensive kind of cat food.

“Dear family, friends, colleagues, If I weren’t in this lousy dreck, I’d never ask you to see it…but we need the butts-in-seats, so please show up.

“By the way, Scarlett Johansson plays my sister and she is totally not up to the role.


Anne, take note.

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One Response to Fool for Love

  1. Old friend September 18, 2011 at 7:33 am #

    I have already seen your breasts but I will show up anyway. You are a very good actor and I like watching you, so people should come out and see you Scarlett.

    Love you,

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