Archive | Business Sense

Why I Am A Screenwriter, Part III

3.  It’s the things I encounter and the things I do.   They should not let me out of my cage.  I have no tact.                           The tactless Michelle was co-producing an insane indie short with 48 dogs involved in one scene.     There was no budget for a professional animal handler, so the dog […]

Day Jobs: Just Not Getting It

Oh, yeah, me, too.  I am one of those creative types (actors, comedians, writers) who cannot keep a day job. I was fired from one paper-pushing job because I did–in 2 hours–the work the previous person had taken all day doing; then I went around helping other people.  But, this made the person who picked […]

35th Street Assholes

Here is the story of a rude audition, a disrespectful production process and the fallout which the producers encountered. This was in a secondary market.  The project was an indie TV series to be broadcast on public access and then the most successful episode was to be used to pitch broadcast distributors. The folks running […]

Nutsoid Film Peeps

Today is devoted to generalized griping.   Kerry the director who, ever since I appeared in his film adaptation of Marigolds, has been emailing me inviting me to purchase legal insurance plans from him or to attend Tupperware parties at his house…endlessly   June the screenwriter who wanted product placement in my film, albeit UNPAID, […]

Crazy Boss Man Goes to France

Business planning Crazy Boss Man in A Large International Corporation says to me, “We need to document the business requirements from the French subsidiary.” I say to Crazy Boss Man in A Large International Corporation, “We have 4 documents from earlier this year detailing these requirements…about 20 pages each.  But they are in French; I’m […]

Fool for Love

My friend Anne once gave a performance of “Fool for Love” for an audience of two. This news had me freaking out that my upcoming run might be undersold. So, here’s the message I sent to my mailing list: “Come see me in Taming of the Shrew at the {theater.} You know me, the sarcastic […]

Here Is Why You Are Not Getting Paid to Make Films

When I first moved to Seattle I used to tell my San Francisco friends that the Seattle artistic community was much more accessible than the San Francisco artistic community. I meant that in Seattle I could be at a party or an opening and walk up to the casting director for one of the Equity […]

Cranial Rectal Syndrome, Part I

Sorry to report that Michelle is currently disabled discommoded discombobulated with Cranial Rectal Syndrome.  The layman’s term for this disease is “she has her head stuck up her ass.” So. We bring you a favorite post from last year instead of something new. DEAR ACTORS, HERE IS HOW NOT TO GET CAST: You poor, broke-ass, […]

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